The New Streetwear Barbies Are So Extreme

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Barbie just discharged a line of six dolls in “streetwear-affected” lewks in festivity of the brand’s 60th commemoration, and keeping in mind that I have some squeezing inquiries I should concede, this is a serve. The dolls—four Barbies and two Kens, all planned via Carlyle Nuera—are wearing “high-low style blends, reconsidered ’90s apparatus, [and] compared designs” all of which consolidated to murmur to me “ya fundamental!” These Barbies appears as though they just bumbled out of an unannounced NYFW appear in the stacking dock of Katz’s Deli and are headed to a mystery all-nighter tossed by Jeremy O. Harris and Tilda Swinton. Do I comprehend these lewks? By no means. Do I know where the road the wear is named after? Google Maps says “you attempted it.” Nevertheless, I’m fixated.

Despite the fact that they all fall under the BMR1959 Collection moniker, none of the dolls was given a particular structure name, so I’ve ventured to concoct names for every one of them and outlined out a basic profile like a befuddled Law and Order analyst sent midtown to examine another gathering medication called “Nonsense Sauce.”

As we as a whole know, Barbie’s complete name is Barbara Millicent Roberts (this data is on the U.S. Citizenship Exam), yet this Barbie passes by Milli for short or One Milli on her Soundcloud. You would believe that her knee-length twists would fill her heart with joy work as a bicycle courier troublesome however you would think little of One Milli, who moonlights as the lead vocalist in a funk band and furthermore did some foundation chip away at the Netflix arrangement She’s Gotta Have It. Discussing the knees, however, we need to talk: they are bendable, as are the lower legs which seems to be, to be honest, unnerving me. Why? Why this? Why? I needn’t bother with a Barbie that can squirm her foot in my general heading. Not this time to this. However, yes thank you to the easygoing serve from One Milli, whose fannypack unquestionably contains a CBD vape pen, advertisements for her band that she got off of Vistaprint, and a telephone with a warning from the Co-Star application.


OK. This Barbie passes by BabZ and she is a ton. As a matter of first importance, her hair takes two hours to coax out, inevitably. No special cases. Kindly don’t call BabZ with a minute ago plans. She will RSVP “no way on earth!” What precisely would she say she is wearing? Some would state it resembles a straitjacket from a haven within a previous Chuck E. Cheddar. BabZ would state it would appear that about 6,000 Euros. (BabZ doesn’t discuss American cash. Ever.) What does BabZ accomplish for work? BabZ will gladly disclose to you that she is a con artist. She’s shopping a journal.


This is Barbara and she by one way or another exists in the present but at the same time is a powerful magazine editorial manager on a 90s sitcom. She has a hoodie dress on underneath an unmistakable plastic coat so you realize she is extremely warm yet that is alright on the grounds that she is likewise iron deficient and she is dealing with that. Barbara releases pressure from her unpleasant activity by playing in a roller derby group where her name is Ida B. Welts. She is incredibly great at it. Additionally, if it’s not too much trouble feast your eyes upon her infant hairs!


This is Ms. Roberts to you and to your companions and to everybody you know. Nobody knows her first name and it’s a subject of a lot of discussion. She runs a display and, truly, she knows Keanu Reeves by and by and, no, tragically she can’t present you and, no, she won’t affirm the talk that they dated and, truly, when she is trapped in a snapshot of think back she goofs and calls him Ke however you needn’t read anything into that. She goes through a large portion of the year in a lodge in Montana and no, she won’t reveal to you where in Montana it is.


Look at Kenneth in his little shorter-alls and boots! Kenneth was deeply influenced by “Can’t Take Me Home”-era P!nk and also Lori Petty in Tank Girl. Kenneth is about 10 years older than you think he is but you would never know. Kenneth left that Dream House in Malibu *redacted* years ago and never looked back!


Kenneth is wearing a full face from Fenty Beauty including a shimmering lip, a killer brow, and a hot pink eyeshadow. When asked what he does for a living Kenneth answered “public personality,” which I didn’t think was a thing, but what do I know?
In the godlike expressions of Tiffany “New York” Pollard, “God help us. Not you. Not you!” Bunhead Ken makes his unwelcome return, two years after first appearing in Barbie’s Hipster Ken line and he is taking a stab at something new! Sliders! For remaining on my last nerve! Colossal clear glasses! For decently to peruse the room! A larger than average parka! To support against my cold gathering! Also, a crossbody fannypack with literally nothing in it. Not a thing. Ken, you are truly trying it with me Ken. I can’t have this discussion with you once more. Shorts?! In October! KEN!
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